In my last post, I encouraged everyone, single or not, to create an online profile, for the introspection and self-knowledge it could provide. Because creating it forces you to brag about yourself, reading over the profile can lift you up when you’re feeling insecure or a little blue.
Here I share my coach-approved dating profile, along with a postscript that she didn’t quite approve.
SELF SUMMARY. Brains and beauty! I’m generous (with my time and contributing to causes I believe in), open-hearted, sweet and sensual. I know how to love, to listen, to be present. I’m vital, witty, have a great sense of fun. Like my grandmother, I am a fine Italian cook with the ability to make you feel at ease. I’m a writer/poet, journalist, dancer, avid film viewer, live theater goer, jazz fan. I enjoy lively discussions, reading in bed, and lounging on sunny beaches like Kamaole in Maui.
WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR. Seeking a partner, collaborator, lover and companion, who, like me, is politically progressive and interested in doing work that benefits the human community. I want a kind, responsible person who is affectionate, respectful of women, aware, fit, and well-versed in the arts of love. He matches me in some ways, provokes me in other ways. We support each other’s creativity, interests and aspirations. An intimate connection that has chemistry, shared values, and openness to personal growth and transformation is sure to thrive! We can walk and talk for hours.
WHAT I’M DOING WITH MY LIFE. Freelance writing for Bay Area publications and my own blog. Helping various non-profits by writing grant proposals. Participating in my neighborhood council. Creating a sustainable yard and beautiful garden with drought-tolerant and pollinator-friendly plants. In season, you might share with me a taste of apple juice, pear sauce, dried figs, or fresh tomato Bolognese pasta.
IN ACTION. I’ve lately taken up pickleball at our local parks and manage to draw my grandson away from his computer games to join me on the court. Caring about my body, eating well and exercising makes me happy, keeps me strong and ageless. All kinds of dancing, taking classes in yoga, weight training, stretch and balance is a great antidote to life’s inevitable stresses. It is also wonderful for making friends and creating community.
BOOKS and MEDIA: When I’m writing creatively, I go to poetry and novels for inspiration. Most recently-read nonfiction: Unthinkable, by Jamie Raskin and John Nichols’ Coronavirus Criminals and Pandemic Profiteers. Most recently-read banned book: The 1619 Project (Still working on this one). Three novels in a row by Jeanine Cummins: American Dirt, The Crooked Branch, The Outside Boy. Among the magazines on my nightstand are The Nation, The New Yorker, Poets & Writers. I listen daily to KPFA Pacifica radio.
GOOD AT: Listening, asking questions, articulating, noticing, organizing, keeping a journal, producing, writing, maintaining a clean and welcoming home, working out regularly, partner dancing, rabble rousing, reviewing films, keeping in touch, networking, random acts of kindness, making love.
The first thing people notice about me: Leo energy and presence, my smile, my curly hair.
An ideal date: Champagne tasting on the terrace at Domaine Carneros in Napa, complete with local charcuterie and cheeses. I did this once on my own when writing a feature on their female winemaker.
I spend a lot of time thinking about: The current state of war and peace in the world; ways to combat voter suppression; how to mitigate climate catastrophe. As a former elementary school teacher, I think about keeping books in the libraries, sex education in the classroom and allowing teachers the freedom to tell the whole truth of history. I also spend a lot of time thinking about how an ecstatic love affair would be a terrific balm right about now.
Message me if: You are a bit wild, articulate, funny, curious, affectionate and emotionally intelligent. You don’t like to spend a lot of time texting but want to connect with the “vibe” of a person through interacting in real time, first phone and then in person.
The most private thing I’m willing to say about myself. This OK Cupid question had me thinking. . . even up to this moment. Of the 101 possible answers my dating coach might not have recommended, I’d pick this one: “My perfect match is attractive (as well as attracted) to me; loves how I look, smell, taste and feel; and responds to my arousal with expertise and tenderness. I want to be with someone who makes me feel alive.”