Yesterday afternoon about 6 p.m. the light was otherworldly orange; this morning, at 9 a.m. the sky is otherworldly orange but also oddly dark, like a storm coming, definitely not as it should be. I admit, I feel extremely uneasy. Writing helps.

What came to mind was the phrase I learned in the 80s: “nuclear winter,” which was hypothesized as the result of widespread firestorms following a nuclear war. The soot injected into the stratosphere would block sunlight, resulting in darkness and cooling that would cause, among other things, crop failure and famine. That’s what the air/sky looks like. Our California Governor Newsom is saying he has no patience with people who deny global climate change now…Well, yes, for decades we have been warned. Unfortunately, the Gov is still awarding a tremendous number of oil and gas leases, keeping the fossil fuel industry thriving in our state.
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It’s official; the William Barr Justice Department has become Donald J. Trump’s personal law firm. In addition to misrepresenting the Mueller Report, reversing Roger Stone’s jail sentence, and firing prosecutors unfriendly to “the orange man” (I took note that in a speech, following his son’s being shot in the back by police seven times at point blank range, Jacob Blake’s father referred to Trump as “orange man” casually, as if that were his name), now the Justice Department wants to make us, American citizens, pay if a lawsuit brought by E. Jean Carroll succeeds.

Yes, the woman who accused Trump of raping her in the dressing room of a swank department store 20 years ago has a defamation suit in process. This maneuver by the Justice Department wants to move the case to federal court, which would make the U.S. government, rather than Trump himself, the defendant in the case. (See article in the Washington Post). As if we are not already paying in lives and treasure for the crimes of this – I’m running out of adjectives for the mendacious, vile, cruel, misogynistic—man, here’s yet another example.
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Well, enough on that. On the side of comic relief, but also insight, let me recommend once again Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert, who are using their platforms of late night comedy to educate citizens about democracy…and history. On a recent show, Noah did a terrific comparison of the current pandemic and the 1918 influenza pandemic. And still they make us laugh through our tears.

Finally, let me recommend Roy Zimmerman

If you have never heard this wonderful singer/songwriter/political satirist, you are in for a treat, and again, a much-needed chuckle. I heard him perform in Occidental a couple of years ago and last night scrolling through Facebook at bedtime, I came upon his “Live from the Left Coast.” I urge you to check him out and contribute for the music. He said he’s doing a new Facebook Live mini concert every Tuesday. Right on his home page you can click and hear “Vote Him Away (the Liar Tweets Tonight).” I’ll admit he had me singing along, right there from my pillow.By the way, the address for his Metaphor Records is in Lakeport, CA.

Two of my subscribers wrote, “Well if you didn’t like 365 Days as an erotic flick, what do you like?” I promised I would make a list of films that had both cinematic quality and at least one memorable erotic scene. I’m still working on that list because I had to go pretty far back into my files. That will be a future post.

But, let me share why I found two films I watched in the past week compelling and romantic (by definition, “dealing with a love affair, being heroic or mysterious, idealistic or adventurous”). Both films are French, bien sûre! And helmed by female writer/directors.

The first, released in 2019, Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Portrait de la jeune fille en feu) is a sensual drama set in the 18^th century directed by Céline Sciamma, starring Noémie Merlant and Adèle Haenel. It won the Queer Palm and Best Screenplay at Cannes, but I didn’t know that before I watched it.

I was taken by this feature from an initial scene where an artist, Marianne, is riding in a small boat on very rough waves off the coast of Brittany. (The camera work put me in a seasick state.) Her bulky box of paints and canvas flips overboard and she dives in—shoes, long dress and all—to retrieve it. You know from the outset that this is a strong and determined woman. She arrives, saltwater soaked, at the remote estate where she has been commissioned to paint the portrait of Héloise, daughter of the house, who is to be married off to a Milanese nobleman.

Males appear in this film only as the dim sailors who deposit Marianne on the rocky shore. The servant, the mother, and the two young women carry the evolving story, riding on a stunning script. Steadily-evolving relationships among all the women surprise and move the viewer. A particularly stunning scene elevates the aftermath of an abortion into a visual akin to a religious fresco on a cathedral wall. I’ll say no more about Portrait of a Lady on Fire so you can fully enjoy it. If you can get a DVD, the extras provided are insightful.

After a few filmic duds, I chose to watch Queen to Play, (Joueuse), for the second time since I knew I would be satisfied. Directed by Caroline Bottaro, it turned out to be a good pairing with Portrait because of its focus on the character played by the extraordinary actress Sandrine Bonnaire.

Hélène, is a maid at a boutique hotel perched on an ocean-view cliff on the isle of Corsica. While making up a guest couple’s bed, she witnesses them playing chess on the balcony. Their interaction, seen through gauzy curtains, looks all the world like sexual foreplay.

A brief conversation with the female guest (who leaves behind a satin nightgown that Hélène appropriates for herself in a failed attempt to attract her husband’s nighttime attention) incites Hélène’s curiosity about chess. She becomes obsessed with learning, and “mastering” the game. “The queen is the most powerful piece.”

The 2009 film (streaming and on disc in 2011) had originally come up in my Netflix queue because I watched another story about chess and because was I was engaged in a string of Kevin Kline movie nights. Kline, speaking French throughout, plays a reclusive widower for whom Hélène cleans house. He becomes a mentor for the aspiring Joueuse d’echec and their growing relationship comprised most of the thrill for me in Queen to Play.

A late scene I have played play over and over is packed with erotic charge but involves not a touch. It is all about intercourse involving the greatest of our sex organs, the brain.

At the height of the HIV epidemic, singles learned how to have a “safer sex talk” with a potential partner. If precautions were taken, we were basically in the clear for sexually-transmitted infections. What to do, though, if a deadly, super contagious virus lives not only in our coughs and sneezes but in our very conversations, our intimate whisperings?

Sexting has always been a thing, pandemic or no. Ditto Zoom flirtations or Skype sex. What I have been considering during the time of COVID-19 are things consenting adults can do, at the recommended six-foot separation, when they’ve gone past the initial dating stage. As restrictions ease and space opens for sensual interactions in person, what are some creative solutions for lovers who don’t live together but were already at some level of intimacy before shelter-in-place?

One of my female friends calls the suggested “Creative Things You Can Do from Six Feet Apart” a “Cosmo-like list.” (I praise all women’s magazine for their grains of truth and usefulness). My sources are my own experience, personal growth workshops I have attended over the course of twenty years, conversations with a sex educator, advice from my physician, and input from peers and poets.

But first, some caveats.

My suggestions are meant to be progressive and have no time frame; there are more than an evening’s worth. Pick and choose. Use these prompts to stimulate your own imagination.

My intention here is to be gender neutral, but I am a female, and currently my sexual interests are men. Some activities I offer might be construed by a guy as c**k-teasing. If he’s in the same room with a person he likes who is doing such provocative things, it might be quite a challenge to keep his distance. Not that he will do anything criminally aggressive, but he might cajole or pressure his lover to relax their boundaries. Another possibility is that he will get sad or mopey or even angry from only looking and not touching. And then you have a lovers’ spat!

For me, as a vital, mature women, there is tension as well. I care for my partner (or potential partner) and want them to be happy. I also need relationship intimacy and desire satisfaction—in fact my health depends on it. So I rationalize, weigh risks and benefits. It’s a dilemma that has very few answers and precious little guidance.

If couples who do not live together decide to have contact sex, whether oral or intercourse, they should take precautions to reduce the risk of spreading the novel coronavirus. How to do that is a “Cosmo List” for another time.

What I am attempting here is to initiate a compendium of sexual-pleasure-from-a-distance that stretches the imagination and pushes the envelope. I welcome and encourage your additions!

Now begin:
Fetch your carpenter’s tape and mark off your room in six-foot intervals—from easy chair to couch, doorway to doorway, prop box to video screen. If you can find a private space outdoors, so much the safer, but still maintain your distance.

• Take turns telling each other what you find appealing—a physical attribute or a quality of personality. Give your partner one compliment at a time, whatever comes spontaneously to mind, back and forth for three minutes. Use an egg timer, or re-purpose the game timer you use to wash your hands.

 

• Flash a body part at an unexpected moment. Pretend nothing unusual happened.

 

• Read erotic stories out-loud; discover who likes to read and who likes to listen. Bring your favorites or tap into the “literotica” sources online

 

• Dance for the other. Remember that black leather teddy and fishnets you wore for Halloween? Call them back into service to enhance the effect. Another opportunity for masks!

 

• Answer the question, “Tell me one thing that turns you on.” Example: Kisses and little nips on the smooth skin between my neck and shoulder. Sweet breath and full lips. A superbly-toned backside.

 

• Share a sexual fantasy as if you were describing a dream, in first person, present tense. Example: I have just bedded down alone in my tent beside a running creek when I hear the distinct pleasure cries of a woman emerging from a campsite just up the hill. I quiet all my movements and listen carefully…

 

• If you’re shy about this kind of talk, do this homework assignment: each of you write a list of “25 things I find arousing” and share it at your next rendezvous.

 

• Watch a sexy movie together. (Remember about the placement of furniture). Provide your own libations and snacks. Make sure you agree on what a sexy “The English Patient” or “Debbie Does Dallas”? Be cautious. When a partner suggested we try viewing what turned out to be degrading porn, I was turned off to his attentions for the rest of the evening.

 

• Practice talking sexy. You might start by saying, “When I’m able to touch you again, I am going to…” Dare yourself to use “dirty words” you’ve never said. Discover new, poetic descriptions for body parts (“heart of the peony” “velvet valentine”); let them loll on your tongue.

 

• Do a real-time strip tease for your sweetie. Welcome their appreciative comments.

 

• Privately record a show-off video, and then share it with your partner. You could demonstrate, for example, how you make love to yourself. This might be the occasion to bring out your sex toy box and illustrate the uses of its contents piece by piece.

 

• Try mutual masturbation to The Big O (in the event that this has not already occurred). Or take turns. The active partner might close their eyes. The observing partner might encourage, “You are so radiant, so delightful, so orgasmic. Your skin is beginning to flush, you are glowing with energy. I can feel your heat from here.”

 

Precaution Footnote:
I’ve read reports of asymptomatic people who’ve attended choir practice and expelled virus droplets from enthusiastic singing that infected those nearby. Might the same be said for the heavy breathing or vocalizing that occurs during sex play? Distance is probably not enough protection if the partners become so deeply engaged. Then masks are a necessity rather than just a costume accessory.

Additional Resources:
I’ve newly discovered, through a referral from poet Bill Noble, a respectful source of real sexual experiences, with world-wide reach but originating in Australia.  Beautiful Agony is a paid-subscription erotic website featuring head shots of user-submitted videos showing the participants having orgasms, without providing any visual description of what technique is being used or revealing anything below the neck and upper chest.

Men, women and non-binary people are featured on the site. Many of the video clips are lovely and compelling, almost meditative. And utterly appropriate to social distancing. You can watch Beautiful Agony’s Show Reel to get a sense of what it would be like to subscribe and contribute content.

My book, Poetry, Politics and Passion, contains the essay “A Face of Ecstasy” in which I describe my experience participating in the documentary film “Orgasm: The Faces of Ecstasy,” a 2004 project by now-defunct Libido Films and produced by the late Joani Blank, author, sex educator and founder, in 1977, of Good Vibrations—the second feminist sex toy business in the United States.

Posted on my website is a video of me reading that essay intercut with sections from the Libido/Blank film. Probably not many of my clients or employers have delved that far into the audio-visual section of Piece of Mind Creative. It is an obscure portion of my obscure website, but it is there for the clicking if you are curious. In my view, Joani Blank is the mother, or grandmother, of the Beautiful Agony cohort.

 

I started a story for a local publication, but the editor decided—not enough “there” there.  I enjoyed interviewing the women associated with Safari West and the Oakland Zoo and wanted to give them a bit of a shout-out, with the hope that folks will support these institutions that really do care about research, conservation, and the well-being of the enormous diversity of our non-human neighbors on this finite planet. The question was “Are creatures in captivity benefiting from the lack of animal tourism?”

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All they needed was a little privacy. Giant pandas Ying Ying and Le Le recently made world headlines by mating successfully after 10 years of cohabitation at Ocean Park in Hong Kong, raising hopes for an offspring for the vulnerable species. Perhaps Le Le’s libido was sparked by several months free of observation by throngs of tourists (the zoo has been closed to visitors since January 26 as a measure to fight the coronavirus). Or perhaps the zookeepers’ showing him video footage of other pandas doing the deed proved a useful how-to? A panda conservationist, Dr. Li Binbin, says, “These animals are shy and sensitive to noise, smell and objects around them. If they are stressed, they cannon indulge in normal behavior like mating.”  

Reports of unusual behaviors in wild animals have proliferated on the Internet, from a lengthy video of a fox and skunk playing together in a Maine backyard to a puma descending from the Andes Mountains into Santiago, Chile, one of South America’s busiest capitals.

 Aphrodite Caserta, public relations director for Safari West, “the Sonoma Serengeti,” says that the mammals, birds and reptiles from Africa that populate the private reserve don’t appear to notice the lack of visitors. “Our one thousand animals are wild and free to roam on 400 acres. They are interacting with their care-keepers daily, as they always do,” she says.

 When pressed a bit further for anecdotes, Caserta speculates, “People ‘on safari’ can’t touch the animals, but we have a particular giraffe who is very friendly and likes to nuzzle the guests. It’s possible that he might be a little lonely.”

Ann Marie Bisagno, Oakland Zoo’s Zoological Manager, has this to say, “We thought the closure might be a nice relief for the animals, some peace and quiet, but the animals are missing seeing people. In particular, the chimps.” Bisagno asked the staff to have their lunches in front of the chimp exhibit, maybe show them some videos on their phones. A male eland in the giraffe exhibit approached a staff member walking by “and looked at us, as if to say, ‘Hey, what’s going on?’”

It’s true that some animals are indifferent, but certain species want more interaction, like the macaws and gibbons and other primates. While enrichment is part of the zoo’s routine in normal times, it is especially needed now when visitors are absent. Bisagno explains that “enrichment” can mean playing music for the animals, or, as in the enclosure for lions and tigers, hiding their food in boxes or palm fronds. Staff will also scatter elephant urine and zebra dung in the habitat, disrupting the atmosphere to get the big cats more active. She observed a group of giraffes turn to look in unison when they saw a lone employee walking by.

 On April 1, the Oakland Zoo’s 110 part-time employees were laid off—that’s almost two-thirds of the entire workforce. Now, only essential personnel, made up almost entirely of animal care/zookeepers and veterinary hospital staff, are working. There are 750 native and exotic animals on the 100-acre site, managed by the Conservation Society of California.

 Oakland Zoo Live Online

The Zoo’s marketing VP Erin Harrison says, “We’ve had to be creative in finding new revenue streams since the closure, so we launched Behind the Scenes Live in record time. This platform allows subscribers to log in every weekday at 2:30 p.m. (PST) for a 20-30 minute live interactive experience, featuring a different animal and interviewee each time. Viewers get to see things they would not usually see, even when visiting the Zoo in person. A sampling of topics for the week of April 13 include: “Monkey Business,” “Let’s Talk Tigers” and “Wolf Pack.”

 During each broadcast, viewers get to ask questions by typing them into a chat feature. The four-person production team and a host who formerly worked at San Diego Zoo’s Kids Channel ensure professional quality. Anyone can subscribe to Behind the Scenes for $14.95/month; Oakland Zoo members get the first month free, then pay $9.95/month thereafter.

 “We’re hoping to get enough participation in Behind the Scenes to offset any more layoffs,” Harrison says. “Having reserves was key to keeping us afloat for the time being. But those reserves will run out by August if the shelter-in-place isn’t lifted before then.”

Yes, all of us “creatures in captivity,” have adjustments to make.

When it was announced that our shelter-at-home period would be extended through May 3, I clicked on the link to the Sonoma County Emergency website and the latest Order of the Health Officer. “Failure to comply is a misdemeanor punishable by fine, imprisonment or both.”

I was looking for clarification on what were essential businesses. (Could I find a nursery where I could purchase spring vegetable starts?) Are face coverings now required, as in LA? (I had just seen a video of the U.S. Surgeon General making a “mask” out of two rubber bands and square of T-shirt material emblazoned with the name of a drug used to reverse opioid overdose.)

What about those teens playing basketball in the park and three adults sitting on a bench—with less than a foot between them—watching? (Would I go so far as to snitch on a neighbor for safety?)

Who would be on the list of ten people I would want at my funeral? (Funerals and burial services are allowed as long as not more than 10 are physically present.) I used this detail of the health order to prompt a writing exercise that yielded results both surprising and profound.

Now, there’s another month of isolation to get through. In the midst of anxiety, financial and physical suffering, stress and boredom all around, can I look for something to buoy and inspire me?

I see Gov. Newsom, along with a select group of other governors and local officials, stepping up and acting, perhaps, the way a President should?

I see 25,000 retired medical professionals volunteering for California Health Corps on the very first day it was announced.

I see creativity bursting everywhere, from a woman’s silken face covering that slyly incorporates a minipad, to the uncounted number of online concerts, Broadway plays, operas—all free, well, free if you have a phone, computer and internet access.

I can hear Patrick Stewart giving me a daily reading of Shakespeare sonnets or my friend David reciting the poems of Adrienne Rich, Ted Kooser, John Berryman and others from different spots around his San Francisco home and garden.

For a tiny fee, I can choose all or any of 16 virtual classes from Dance Arts, a studio 35 miles away from my home and difficult to attend very often in person. There are other free or subscription dance classes recommended by classmates I have yet to explore. I admit, it’s not the same as being there for a high-touch artistic pursuit, but the sessions give me plenty to work on until I rumba with my favorite teachers again.

And while spare time has yet to materialize because I have been working as a journalist and grant writer from home, I hope that sometime in the next month of “retreat,” I’ll get a start on my next book.

So, today, aided by morning clouds and rain, I will focus on the silver lining.