After I expressed dissatisfaction, in a previous post, with my foray into online dating, kind folks have offered suggestions for other sites to try, such as Bumble (which requires the woman to make first contact) or eHarmony, the site where friends who just sent me their wedding invitation made their connection. Thank you all for caring.
I suppose that cookies tracing my online activity account for the ads I’ve received for numerous dating gurus who offer their services, their free eBooks, their seminars, support groups, etc. I am not disparaging the relationship/dating industry. I confess that in the distant past I paid an embarrassingly hefty sum to a useless matchmaker (see my 2012 book, Poetry, Politics and Passion for the essay “Make Me A Match.”)
The question I ask today is: do I have the heart—and the stamina—to peruse even more virtual meeting venues or is there another way to find single, sane, age-appropriate potential partners who match my values and aspirations?
I started my current “Partner Project” with hope. In April 2021, I attended a wine tasting in Mill Valley for single professionals with the intention of finding eligible bachelors a little farther afield. The evening had two highlights: I convinced two Tesla owners to cease their conversation about their beloved vehicles to join me and two other women at a table; and, I scored a coupon for a free consultation with a Relationship Coach and Love Mentor who co-sponsored the event.
Like all of us, I lived through the fear of catching a deadly virus, the fallout from an economic shutdown, months of social isolation, tension overs masks and vaccinations, and political upheaval I could not have imagined. In January, I decided it was now-or-never. I called the relationship coach I’d met the year before and set up a ZOOM appointment.
Near the end of our conversation, Dr. W. led me through a visualization exercise. She first had me close my eyes and imagine a year hence if nothing had changed in my life. What was I doing and how did I feel? Then she asked, “What if you found your match, the lover and partner you have been seeking? Describe in detail where you are. What do you see, smell, touch, feel, taste?”
I relaxed enough to experience sensorily a cliffside terrace overlooking a sun-drenched beach beneath an azure sky. I was sitting across a bistro table from a person who holds my hand and gazes into my eyes.
“What is your companion saying?” Dr. W. prompted.
“I love you. I’m so glad I met you. I’ll be with you to the end.”
After I said those words aloud, I began to cry from the depth of my soul. Fat tears drenched my face along with cleansing sobs that proved to me that I’d touched upon “my truth.” When I looked toward the computer screen, I could see that my coach was crying too.
[TO BE CONTINUED]